Another Day, Another Vinlander Dawn...
A fairly decent day, all things considered. The Ice now be thick to cross, as evidenced by the fact that I've crossed it twice the day. And accompanied it by climbing the bluff on the far side.
Wound up playing several games on the Wii and watching much in the way of M*A*S*H.
And on the topic of things watched recently...
Igor: Brilliant Fun...
Salt: More Brilliant Fun, now with added 'splody and Angelina Jolie... although not for the Arachnophobic
Scorpion King 2: Blurgh. Coulda been brilliant. Wasn't so much...
And lastly, had my first Wodin's Wroth what wasn't drank at Rock Night or with the Lady Raidho this evening...
Fond of my Wodin's Wroth I be. And for those what don't know what that is, you take your glass, a pint glass for preference. And then you puts a shot of Jaeger in it... and then you takes a bottle of Lager, Becks for preference... although Budweiser is almost potable, as is an italian beer I tried it with at one point, and even Corona at a pinch (Bloody Mexican Love In A Small Boat Beer). Anyway, you puts the Lager in the Jaeger (or the Jaeger in the Lager, all a matter of personal preference.). Suffice to say, There be a bottle of Lager, and a shot of Jaeger, in the same glass, at the same time. And once you have finished arranging this union, you drinks it. And then you pours yourself another one. although a sensible person stops after one or two. And a Guard and his companion tend to stop around four... or at least lose count and start counting again.
and on that note, SKAAL!
Luck in Battle and Fare Thee Well...
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Vinland Returns To Normal
Well, Today, there be SNOW!!!!!
And this makes me happy...
earlier it was so thick we couldn't see the lake from the house, a distance of maybe a hundred yards...
And this made me happy...
Not been up to too much of late...
Made my Strandhogg... I now have some of this Canadian money thing...
I also have 6 bottles of an Oatmeal Stout from Nelson... remains to be seen how potable it is...
Same Liquor store even carries Jaeger... of which I also have an admittedly small bottle... Will be needing Becks for New Years I reckon...
Hail for Wodins Wroth...
Watched an... interesting... film last night
You might have heard of it...
Valhalla Rising.
Are you sitting comfortably and a considerable distance from any precipices?
good...
I wouldn't recommend it...
Please pay attention to the following two reviews
My Dads: "Piece. Of. Shit."
Mine... Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, BLOODY BRUTAL DEATH. Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, Tree. or, occasionally Cross. you know, Dialogue would have been nice. or even some rational behaviour.
beyond that, little else has occured.
Well, except my brother deciding that it might be a good idea to follow behaviours liable to get him bludgeoned a bit.
but that doesn't matter, or at least, it won't until he gets bludgeoned a bit...
Anyway, I shall return soon, possibly even with something interesting to write about...
And this makes me happy...
earlier it was so thick we couldn't see the lake from the house, a distance of maybe a hundred yards...
And this made me happy...
Not been up to too much of late...
Made my Strandhogg... I now have some of this Canadian money thing...
I also have 6 bottles of an Oatmeal Stout from Nelson... remains to be seen how potable it is...
Same Liquor store even carries Jaeger... of which I also have an admittedly small bottle... Will be needing Becks for New Years I reckon...
Hail for Wodins Wroth...
Watched an... interesting... film last night
You might have heard of it...
Valhalla Rising.
Are you sitting comfortably and a considerable distance from any precipices?
good...
I wouldn't recommend it...
Please pay attention to the following two reviews
My Dads: "Piece. Of. Shit."
Mine... Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, BLOODY BRUTAL DEATH. Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, Stare, Axe, Tree. or, occasionally Cross. you know, Dialogue would have been nice. or even some rational behaviour.
beyond that, little else has occured.
Well, except my brother deciding that it might be a good idea to follow behaviours liable to get him bludgeoned a bit.
but that doesn't matter, or at least, it won't until he gets bludgeoned a bit...
Anyway, I shall return soon, possibly even with something interesting to write about...
Monday, 27 December 2010
A Third Day Dawneth...
Well, The Bear-Sark has seen his third dawn in Vinland (No really, my window points towards the rising sun, and my curtains are rather thin...)
It has been interesting... there be barely any snow... I haven't seen the temperature drop below 277 degrees Kelvin, or 4 Celsius/Centigrade for the non-sciency types (I'd tell you fahrenheit, but I don't hold with Damn Yankee means of measurement) (possibly on accounts of not holding with Damn Yankees)
The Lake is not thick enough to walk on, whereas the hiking trail is covered in ice to a depth of broken arm, leg, neck or D) All Of The Above...
On the other hand, have been introduced to my Parent's Wii and Balance Board... apparently my balance is rather good... I blame Normannis...
No seriously...
If you not be balanced, then your blows don't go where you want them, they don't have the desired force behind them, you go over easier, your shield is harder to control which means you leave more openings, and well, you die... a lot... with little effect... except to engender laughter...(to be fair I did this anyway, when I wasn't terrifying my foes...)
And on this topic, Have yet to locate A) Re-enactment Group, B) New Steel, C)Source of Income...
And to top it all off, appear to have left The Varangian Way in Scotland....
AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Can't even Youtube it on accounts of being stuck in the Neolithic... (The only source of internet at the minute is Dial-Up)
Anyway, I be needing to wrap this up, on accounts of we be preparing for a Strandhogg...
and by that I mean a trip into town for supplies and the like...
Lets see...
Steel: Scotland
Armour: Scotland
Shield: Scotland....
Looks like we be doing this off Diplomancy then...
It has been interesting... there be barely any snow... I haven't seen the temperature drop below 277 degrees Kelvin, or 4 Celsius/Centigrade for the non-sciency types (I'd tell you fahrenheit, but I don't hold with Damn Yankee means of measurement) (possibly on accounts of not holding with Damn Yankees)
The Lake is not thick enough to walk on, whereas the hiking trail is covered in ice to a depth of broken arm, leg, neck or D) All Of The Above...
On the other hand, have been introduced to my Parent's Wii and Balance Board... apparently my balance is rather good... I blame Normannis...
No seriously...
If you not be balanced, then your blows don't go where you want them, they don't have the desired force behind them, you go over easier, your shield is harder to control which means you leave more openings, and well, you die... a lot... with little effect... except to engender laughter...(to be fair I did this anyway, when I wasn't terrifying my foes...)
And on this topic, Have yet to locate A) Re-enactment Group, B) New Steel, C)Source of Income...
And to top it all off, appear to have left The Varangian Way in Scotland....
AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Can't even Youtube it on accounts of being stuck in the Neolithic... (The only source of internet at the minute is Dial-Up)
Anyway, I be needing to wrap this up, on accounts of we be preparing for a Strandhogg...
and by that I mean a trip into town for supplies and the like...
Lets see...
Steel: Scotland
Armour: Scotland
Shield: Scotland....
Looks like we be doing this off Diplomancy then...
Saturday, 25 December 2010
A Very Vinland Christmas
Well, after this, I be liable to slow down a bit on the blogging front...
Alternately, I may continue on this daily posting thing until I be used to being back in Vinland
Well, The Day to which is attributed the birth of the White Christ God has passed well enough...
Woke around half-nine and proceeded to immediately read 3 full storylines of Conan the Cimmerian, Free Companions, Kozaki, and Iron Shadows By Moonlight. Was much Conan read in fact, as my dad has a few books on the chappy I've no had the pleasure of reading... but I'll no bore everyone with a description of my favorite personage of the Hyborian Era...
There was also a rather large dinner, although no one told me where the Candied Yams were until after I'd already filled my plate...
The Wii was out, with Snowboarding and Tubing and Bobsledding on the Balance Board, at which I did passably well, on accounts of having shockingly good balance for a Juckiewicz...
And then a film went on... The Lovely Bones I believe it was called...
'Twas impressive... It actually managed to distract me (Briefly) From Conan, a feat even my (recently) Ex-girlfriend had difficulty doing (Long Story, If you need to know it you already do. If you don't know it, well odds are you never will)
On the other hand, I never really got the jist of the plot, bar that Draugadrottin looks after his own...
And on that note, I shall leave
Ward of the Aldafader...
Alternately, I may continue on this daily posting thing until I be used to being back in Vinland
Well, The Day to which is attributed the birth of the White Christ God has passed well enough...
Woke around half-nine and proceeded to immediately read 3 full storylines of Conan the Cimmerian, Free Companions, Kozaki, and Iron Shadows By Moonlight. Was much Conan read in fact, as my dad has a few books on the chappy I've no had the pleasure of reading... but I'll no bore everyone with a description of my favorite personage of the Hyborian Era...
There was also a rather large dinner, although no one told me where the Candied Yams were until after I'd already filled my plate...
The Wii was out, with Snowboarding and Tubing and Bobsledding on the Balance Board, at which I did passably well, on accounts of having shockingly good balance for a Juckiewicz...
And then a film went on... The Lovely Bones I believe it was called...
'Twas impressive... It actually managed to distract me (Briefly) From Conan, a feat even my (recently) Ex-girlfriend had difficulty doing (Long Story, If you need to know it you already do. If you don't know it, well odds are you never will)
On the other hand, I never really got the jist of the plot, bar that Draugadrottin looks after his own...
And on that note, I shall leave
Ward of the Aldafader...
Friday, 24 December 2010
To Vinland!
Well, Airport Security in Amsterdam seems to have decidedly sensitive metal detectors, what were set off by the buckles of my Kilt. and the number of KLM staff who complimented me on my skirt... Fortunately I restrained my instincts, and thus am sitting awaiting my third and final boarding call rather than being on my way to a canadian police station...
Flight itself was fine, they didn't manage to outright kill me with the meals, which is always useful...
and now to get onto something other than me...
In-Flight Movies...
The flight had an interesting method of doing them. each seat has a tiny screen in the back of it, and each person can select their own in-flight entertainment from a fairly wide library. And so, I shall review mine...
I watched two and a half films, an Episode of NCIS (Which we shall ignore) and listened to much Queen (Which we shall also ignore) coincidentally, our treatment of these is not because they are bad, but because their epic requires no description...
So, Films.
I started with Expendables...
I know many bad things have been heard of this film, however my response can best be summed up by the one scene where I almost bolted out of my seat bellowing EFF AY EEH BABY!
If one, like me, watches such films for gratuitous violence and 'splody, one will be pleased. if one is willing to appreciate a semblance of plot one will be even more pleased...
It seems to be a return to the classic days of action flicks... less concerned with accuracy than with looking entertaining... and the cast does a good job of taking it just seriously enough. and the black guy has what is effectively a boltgun. Oh, and did I mention the FAE?
The Next Film on my agenda was the latest incarnation of Robin Hood.
Let us start with the bad...
First off, their is no evidence the man Robin Hood ever actually existed... their was I believe a Robin of Locksley, but there is no record I have heard of of him being outlawed, let alone for theft from the rich to give to the poor...
Then, (Spoiler Alert from this point in...)
One cannot cross the English Channel in Oar-Driven Landing Craft in the 12th century. one would die... and so would ones army.
Also John did sign the Magna Carta, although it was effectively at Sword-Point...
Quibble Four, Sending Children, even outlawed semi-feral children mounted as cavalry against hardened men-at-arms is both morally reprehensible and akin to murder...
End of Quibbling
and now for the good points...
I saw no major cases of Innacurate clothing or buildings (Admittedly twas on a tiny screen, so they might have slipped through)
Second, The Earl Of Pembroke appeared
Third, there were a large number of axes...
including one that appeared to be Sympathy's head on a six foot shaft... I almost want one...
Fourth, One of Richards Sub-Justicars appeared
Fifth, Many of the minor nobles, the northern barons, who are mentioned are the actual ones who held the fiefs attributed to them at the time... and several of them did indeed spend some time outlawed by john...
Sixth... The future regent of England showed up
Seventh... Eleanor of Aquitane
Eight... and this is simply a repeat of numbers 2, 4, and 6... WILLIAM MARSHAL played a considerable role... they even had his heraldry right... Green and Yellow, With the Red Lion Rampant...
and he was portrayed as just as epic as he was...
Seriously, anyone who has studied that period of history will spend the film going I know him, and him, and him, and him, and her, and her, and him the whole way through... When Sir Marshal first appeared, I believe the operative word was Nerdgasm, as not one coherent word was uttered for the next five minutes...
The final half film was the start of Beauty and the Beast, which as it's epic should be understood by all shall also recieve no mention beyond this...
Flight itself was fine, they didn't manage to outright kill me with the meals, which is always useful...
and now to get onto something other than me...
In-Flight Movies...
The flight had an interesting method of doing them. each seat has a tiny screen in the back of it, and each person can select their own in-flight entertainment from a fairly wide library. And so, I shall review mine...
I watched two and a half films, an Episode of NCIS (Which we shall ignore) and listened to much Queen (Which we shall also ignore) coincidentally, our treatment of these is not because they are bad, but because their epic requires no description...
So, Films.
I started with Expendables...
I know many bad things have been heard of this film, however my response can best be summed up by the one scene where I almost bolted out of my seat bellowing EFF AY EEH BABY!
If one, like me, watches such films for gratuitous violence and 'splody, one will be pleased. if one is willing to appreciate a semblance of plot one will be even more pleased...
It seems to be a return to the classic days of action flicks... less concerned with accuracy than with looking entertaining... and the cast does a good job of taking it just seriously enough. and the black guy has what is effectively a boltgun. Oh, and did I mention the FAE?
The Next Film on my agenda was the latest incarnation of Robin Hood.
Let us start with the bad...
First off, their is no evidence the man Robin Hood ever actually existed... their was I believe a Robin of Locksley, but there is no record I have heard of of him being outlawed, let alone for theft from the rich to give to the poor...
Then, (Spoiler Alert from this point in...)
One cannot cross the English Channel in Oar-Driven Landing Craft in the 12th century. one would die... and so would ones army.
Also John did sign the Magna Carta, although it was effectively at Sword-Point...
Quibble Four, Sending Children, even outlawed semi-feral children mounted as cavalry against hardened men-at-arms is both morally reprehensible and akin to murder...
End of Quibbling
and now for the good points...
I saw no major cases of Innacurate clothing or buildings (Admittedly twas on a tiny screen, so they might have slipped through)
Second, The Earl Of Pembroke appeared
Third, there were a large number of axes...
including one that appeared to be Sympathy's head on a six foot shaft... I almost want one...
Fourth, One of Richards Sub-Justicars appeared
Fifth, Many of the minor nobles, the northern barons, who are mentioned are the actual ones who held the fiefs attributed to them at the time... and several of them did indeed spend some time outlawed by john...
Sixth... The future regent of England showed up
Seventh... Eleanor of Aquitane
Eight... and this is simply a repeat of numbers 2, 4, and 6... WILLIAM MARSHAL played a considerable role... they even had his heraldry right... Green and Yellow, With the Red Lion Rampant...
and he was portrayed as just as epic as he was...
Seriously, anyone who has studied that period of history will spend the film going I know him, and him, and him, and him, and her, and her, and him the whole way through... When Sir Marshal first appeared, I believe the operative word was Nerdgasm, as not one coherent word was uttered for the next five minutes...
The final half film was the start of Beauty and the Beast, which as it's epic should be understood by all shall also recieve no mention beyond this...
To The Netherlands!
And so, The Jared arose early that morn, and Feasted and Bathed and made those final preparations required for his travels. And then he travelled to the outskirts of the city of Edinburgh, where he boarded plane to the Netherlands, and also fell in love with self-serve baggage check-in. seriously, I am onto my 10th Trans-At and I've never had a quicker check-in. It was brilliant...
Airport security less so, possibly on accounts of the necklace, pendant, and bolo I was wearing, the cloak over the trenchcoat over the jacket and the fact that boots, belt and sporran had to go through the scanners... but that worked out fine, and the flight was quick and smooth before I landed in Schipol in Amsterdam.
The place is Massive.
I got lost looking for my gate
I got lost looking for the toilets
I got lost returning to my gate
and then I decided not to risk looking for food and instead to wolf down a large slice of the Christmas Cake I had taken with me...
Now I be waiting for my flight to begin boarding, in half an hours time...
May Farmognudr, Maker Of Journeys ward over me.
(He'd better, I cannae give Him the Ale he's been promised if I drop out of the sky.)
Airport security less so, possibly on accounts of the necklace, pendant, and bolo I was wearing, the cloak over the trenchcoat over the jacket and the fact that boots, belt and sporran had to go through the scanners... but that worked out fine, and the flight was quick and smooth before I landed in Schipol in Amsterdam.
The place is Massive.
I got lost looking for my gate
I got lost looking for the toilets
I got lost returning to my gate
and then I decided not to risk looking for food and instead to wolf down a large slice of the Christmas Cake I had taken with me...
Now I be waiting for my flight to begin boarding, in half an hours time...
May Farmognudr, Maker Of Journeys ward over me.
(He'd better, I cannae give Him the Ale he's been promised if I drop out of the sky.)
Thursday, 23 December 2010
The Saga Begins
Well, to be fair the Saga started some 21 years, 1 month, 13 days 1 hour and 45 minutes ago, give or take... but my telling of it shall begin more recently.
One the morrow, I, The Jared, Bearsarkr, and Axe-Lord of Vinland returneth to Vinland... (That be Canada to those less knowledgeable of Norse place names, and you can ignore every title appended to The Jared, come to think of it.) It's been a long and twisted road (As all the best are) which I do not intend to describe here, especially as the last bit of the road is strewn with Snares and Deadfalls, Pits and Nooses, a joke only one of my companions on the road will get...
Suffice to say I advocate the avoidance of that bit...
anyway, 'Twas suggested I start a blog, partly for therapeutic reasons, and partly to inform the poor benighted Brits of my acquaintance what they be missing on accounts of lacking my presence. Apart from of course the constant threat of gratuitous violence and the services of one of the cheapest (And most inneffective) Hashishin in existence...
So one may consider this, The Jaredsaga to begin properly within a day or two...
One the morrow, I, The Jared, Bearsarkr, and Axe-Lord of Vinland returneth to Vinland... (That be Canada to those less knowledgeable of Norse place names, and you can ignore every title appended to The Jared, come to think of it.) It's been a long and twisted road (As all the best are) which I do not intend to describe here, especially as the last bit of the road is strewn with Snares and Deadfalls, Pits and Nooses, a joke only one of my companions on the road will get...
Suffice to say I advocate the avoidance of that bit...
anyway, 'Twas suggested I start a blog, partly for therapeutic reasons, and partly to inform the poor benighted Brits of my acquaintance what they be missing on accounts of lacking my presence. Apart from of course the constant threat of gratuitous violence and the services of one of the cheapest (And most inneffective) Hashishin in existence...
So one may consider this, The Jaredsaga to begin properly within a day or two...
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